More About Spanking

I went on a hike today with a good friend of mine.  We were chatting when we got back from the hike and in the course of the chatting I found out that her 5 year old daughter has been talking back to her.  I asked my friend what she did about it and she said that she talked to her and told her not to do it, but she keeps on doing it.  I told her she needs to stop talking and start spanking.  The next time her daughter talks back to her she needs to not say a word, get out the spanking spoon and give her 3 swats, and tell her she can come back and talk after she is done crying.

Some people may think this sounds mean, but I don't.  I think it is more important for a child to learn the hard lessons from parents who care about them than from a teacher who fails them, a boss who fires them or the criminal justice system.  Spanking is a teaching tool.  If you as a child do certain things that you have been told not to do then the consequences are a spanking by a loving parent.

There are certain rules that need to be applied when spanking.  I went over a few of them in a previous blog, but this is a more detailed list of rules:

• Never spank in anger.  This protects the child and makes sure you have the right motives.
• Make sure your child knows the rules.
• Give a certain amount of swats for the offense (I always gave 3).
• Do not use your hand always use something like a wooden spoon.
• Spank only on the bottom or the upper thigh if your child is wearing a diaper.
• After the spanking have the child go to a neutral place and let them cry.
• When the child is done crying call them back to you and explain why you spanked them.
• Always finish with a hug and tell them you love them and then have them go back to playing.

When you spank a child it is to teach a child not punish the child.  God disciplines his children He does not punish us.  Discipline means teaching.  That is what you are doing by spanking is teaching your child, not punishing your child.

When Ryan and Dennis were little every once in a while they would do something I thought I told them not to do so when they started to get in trouble for it they would say "you never told me that."  As a fair minded mom I would not spank them, but I also would make sure they understood the rules.  I would often times have them look me in the eyes and repeat what I said so they would know the rules and I would know I told them the rules.  They were accountable for their actions after I did that.

It is important once the decision has been made to spank that you follow through.  Often times children will try to talk their way out of a spanking, don't let this happen, if you do you are setting a bad precedent and giving your child the idea it is ok to argue with you.  They don't need to talk to you until after they have been spanked and are done crying.  You as the parent are the authority.  God has given you the responsibility of raising this child and along with that He gives you the authority to discipline that child. 

I have had to apologize to our sons for spanking them unjustly because I spanked the wrong one.  I had no problems apologizing and asking for their forgiveness, it taught our sons that I am not perfect, and that when I make a mistake I correct it.  You do not need to be perfect, just a loving parent who is trying to teach your child the right way to go.

Proverbs 29:15 The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother.