Mistakes

When our first child was born (Ryan) our family doctor came in to see us (Ryan and me).  He sat down in a chair in the hospital room and said "You have a healthy little boy."  I replied "Thank you."  I admit I was excited and scared to death at the same time.  Then Dr. Hostetter (the best Dr. in the world) said to me, "You are going to get all kinds of advice from friends, family and books on how best to care for Ryan, but I want you to remember this; you are his mom and you know him better than anyone else, so you do what you think is right."  After he told me that I felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders and he gave me the confidence that I needed to do what was best for our child.

I did make decisions the best I could in raising our children, but I must admit I failed in a few areas.  I never did teach them how to budget money and I did not make them keep their room clean. I think those are two disciplines that are important in adult life.  I think they have overcome those failures on my part (especially Dennis because he is in the military and has to keep his room clean), but all the same they are failures.

My mom was not a perfect mom.  My mom always seemed a bit detatched when I was growing up.  I think when a parent becomes a single parent they tend to not focus on their children as much because they are trying to build their own life again.  I think that is what happened to my mom.  She was always loving and provided for us, but she also was involved in her personal life (dating).

I think because my mom was a bit detatched as I was growing up I became almost the opposite and was quite involved in raising our sons.  I was so involved I homeschooled them until they were in junior high.  My husband said his dad was always concerned about his career and he did not feel his dad had much time for him and his brothers and sister.  Because he felt this way he always made time for our children.  He always went to work and was a good provider, but he would not let work interfere with his family life.

I see a lot of parents today who came from broken homes and had no role model of what family life could be ideally.  They are often times so concerned about making the same mistakes their parents made that they either become just like their parents or they go the complete opposite direction. 

A Pastor once told a story of two brothers.  One brother drank heavily and the other one drank nothing stronger than iced tea.  The Pastor asked the brother who drank heavily "Why do you drink?"  He replied "Because my Dad was an alcoholic."  The Pastor asked the other brother "Why don't you drink?" The other brother replied "Because my Dad was an alcoholic."

The bottom line is just because your parents made mistakes doesn't mean you will.  Just as the two brothers had a choice, so do you.  You can either follow in your parents mistakes or choose to do it differently. You know your child better than anyone make your decisions based on that and not on your fear of making the same mistakes your parents did.

Proverbs 14:26 He who fears the Lord has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a refuge.