Yours and Mine

When our children were young I was talking to my Aunt Judy telling her that I was having a friend over for lunch.  My Aunt Judy said, "Your not going to have your children talking and being a part of your lunch are you?"  I thought that was a weird and rude question.  I was thinking Aunt Judy must be thinking like the dark ages, but I knew Aunt Judy better, so I asked "Why?"  She promptly explained that my friend was coming to have lunch with me and not our kids.  She was right again.

Aunt Judy went on to explain that I do not follow my kids around and bother them while they have their friends over.  She said our children need to learn that there are boundaries, and some things are theirs, but also some things are mine.  She asked if I would like to go visit a friend and have her children interrupt our conversation and demand me and my friends time.  Again Aunt Judy was right on the mark.

When my friend came over our children said hi to her and went off and played and left us to our conversation.  I fed our kids before she came over and if the kids needed something I did address what was needed, but they did not monopolize our conversation or time.  It was a very nice and refreshing lunch.

My lunch went beyond just that day and made me realize I did need to set some boundaries as to what things were mine.  Things in which our children learned that were mine and not theirs:  my food, my drink, our bed, my purse, our bedroom and even my chair.  Me having my own things and them having some of their own things did not make our children feel neglected, I think it gave them boundaries and respect for other peoples property.

Proverbs 25:6-7 Do not exalt yourself in the king's presence, and do not claim a place among great men; it is better for him to say to you, "come up here." than for him to humiliate you before a nobleman.