When I was teaching Tiny Tigers (preschool Tae Kwon Do) one of my instructors had two daughters in Tiny Tigers and we had talked about stranger danger. She told me her daughters saw a stranger walking down the street and the girls came running to her scared. The stranger did not talk to the girls or threaten them in any way. The talk we had, made them aware and scared. I did not want scare the children, so I started thinking and praying and realized that I needed to get the information to the children and empower them, not scare them.
The thought of empowering children has snowballed and I use it when I teach Sunday school, preschool and of course Tae Kwon Do. There are several things a parent can do to empower their children.
A great way to empower your child is to inform them. You can talk to your child about what they should do if someone wants to look at or touch their private parts. Explain to your child that it is ok to tell an adult 'no' if the adult wants to do something wrong. Have them practice with you by role playing. Tell your child that you want to know if anyone ever tries to see or touch their private parts. Your child needs to know that they will not get in trouble if they do tell you.
Your child's voice may save their life some day. When I taught Tiny Tigers I always had the kids practice yelling. There is a difference between yelling and screaming. Yelling comes from the diaphragm and screaming comes from the throat and hurts. Just like you can train your muscles by working out, so can you train your childs voice. Your child can kick and bite and punch, but in the end it will be more likely they will get saved by using their voice and the right words. I think the best word to use is 'Stranger!'. As an adult if I saw a child kicking and screaming I would think it was an unruly child; if I heard a child yell 'Stranger!' I would be following the child with my cell phone in hand and start investigating.
Teach your child who a stranger is. Your neighbor may be an acquaintance which equals a stranger. Your child may not understand that just because you say 'hi' to your neighbor does not mean that they are not a stranger. Your need to let your child know that they can not go to someones house unless you say it is ok. Explain to your child that God has put you in charge of keeping them safe, so they need to check with you first. Sometimes 'stranger' has fuzzy lines and you need to let your child know who is a stranger and who is safe.
Empower your child by teaching them the best choice of stranger to use if they need help. It does happen sometimes that a child may need help from a stranger. Don't make your child afraid of strangers, empower them to make the right choices. From the best choice on down; Mom with children, grandma, worker, someone in a uniform. These may surprise you, but they really are the best choices. Most predators are males, so you want to give your child the choice of strangers that eliminate males.
A mom with children is a very safe choice. The motherly instinct will kick in and the mom will more than likely make sure your child is safe. A grandma is usually just an older mom and the same motherly instincts would kick in. If someone is working they are less likely to be a predator, so they would be a safe choice. The last good choice is someone in uniform. Someone in uniform could be the UPS man or a police officer. I have nothing against a child going to a police officer but there are a few things to think about; a child and even some adults can not tell the difference between a security guard and a police officer and it is unlikely a police officer will be near by when your child needs help. Security guards do not have the best reputation; Ted Bundy and Son of Sam were both security guards, and sometimes predators want to be security guards because children will trust them because they are wearing a uniform.
Practice those four choices with your children and make sure they know to go to the best choice first. I used to quiz the Tiny Tigers, if they needed the help of a stranger and saw a mom with children and someone in uniform, who should they go to?? The mom with children is the correct answer.
The last point of empowerment for this blog is; teach your child their phone number, address and your name (not mom). A four year old should be able to learn those 3 things. If something ever happens, your child has all of the information they need to get in contact with you.
Deuteronomy 11:19 Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home an when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
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