I was talking to my Aunt Judy on the phone today. Some how the conversation turned to how her husband turned her words that were meant to have a little sting around to a positive. She said if she called him a toad, he would say "so you are a toad lover". It really made her think and it turned what might have been a negative to a positive. My Uncle George has some wisdom too.
The words you say to your spouse reflect upon you. Are you a toad lover or a prince lover?
Proverbs 25:11 A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Finishing the Race
My brother-in-law passed away about a month ago. He died suddenly and unexpectedly. My husband and I flew back to Chicago for the funeral and to hopefully bring a little comfort for my sister-in-law, niece and nephews. All during the many activities that go along with death and laying someone to rest one thought kept going through my mind. They finished the race. They finished their marriage and completed their vows.
As I observed my sister-in-law I realized that she was not only faithful in his life, she was also faithful in his death. I watched as she stood for 6 hours at the wake, getting hugs from people she knew and loved and those she did not know, but who knew her husband. She was a gracious hostess, sharing stories of her husband and introducing strangers to their 3 children. She was exhausted at the end of the wake, both physically and emotionally. She carried out her husbands wishes concerning his funeral and the way he wanted to be buried, even though her mother-in-law did not understand.
Just like life, marriages eventually end. Some end in divorce and others end in death. Eventually they all end. My brother-in-laws death is not a celebration, but I think the fact that he and my sister-in-law kept their vows and completed the marriage is a heritage their 3 children will treasure in years to come. They finished the race, they kept their vows.
2 Timothy 4:7 "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."
As I observed my sister-in-law I realized that she was not only faithful in his life, she was also faithful in his death. I watched as she stood for 6 hours at the wake, getting hugs from people she knew and loved and those she did not know, but who knew her husband. She was a gracious hostess, sharing stories of her husband and introducing strangers to their 3 children. She was exhausted at the end of the wake, both physically and emotionally. She carried out her husbands wishes concerning his funeral and the way he wanted to be buried, even though her mother-in-law did not understand.
Just like life, marriages eventually end. Some end in divorce and others end in death. Eventually they all end. My brother-in-laws death is not a celebration, but I think the fact that he and my sister-in-law kept their vows and completed the marriage is a heritage their 3 children will treasure in years to come. They finished the race, they kept their vows.
2 Timothy 4:7 "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Why Bother?
Why Bother?
It happens every Sunday. I prepare a Sunday school lesson for the preschoolers at my church, I plan for ten, but I may only get two. From Sunday to Sunday the numbers are never the same. My church is not alone, it is a national phenomena. 23 million self proclaimed Christians in America do not have any church affiliation, and of those who do attend church 40-50 percent do so with a loose commitment. (Stafford 2005) Even though there is a lack of commitment to the church in America; the church is still as significant to God today as it was when it was founded.
What was the church founded on? Matthew 16:16 states Peter’s confession “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God”, (NIV) and that confession is the foundation on which the church is built on. Jesus said in Matthew 16:17-18 “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by man, but by my Father in heaven. And on this rock, I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it.” The church is the people who believe Peter’s confession. To God, that has not changed.
The purpose of the church is to “spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” And “encourage one another---and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Hebrews 10:24-25. The purpose of the church is still the same. If the foundation of the church and the purpose of the church have not changed, why do Christians lack a commitment to the church today?
Generation Yer’s (millennials) are “the first generation raised without God.” (Hill 2011) This generation and the generations to follow have been raised to believe in evolution, and to question God’s existence or relevance. They also have been brought up in a multicultural society, so whatever you want to do or believe is ok, and your belief is no more important than anyone else’s. It is easy to see that the current generation is not going to have many foundational reasons to be committed to the church.
The church is full of sinners, who have hurt others in the church. I have a few friends who have been hurt by the church, and they are not alone. The pain and offense are real. When a person has been hurt by the ones who are supposed to encourage them, the hurt is not easily healed, and the results are a lack of trust and commitment to the church.
American Christians have been brought up to be consumers. They no longer see church as a place to serve, but a place to be served. They shop around for the best church to fit their wants and needs; searching for something that makes them feel good, and costs little for them personally. If the church begins to have any problems, disagreements or costs them more personally, they leave and shop for another church, or quit going to church altogether. (Stafford 2005)
People who go to church statistically “feel a real and personal connection with God”, 68%-78%, depending on the size of the church. (www.barna.org) As a Christian, “You are called to belong, not just believe.” (Warren 2002) Belonging to a group of believers who “spur one another on toward love and good deeds…and encourage one another” Hebrews 10:24-25 brings forth fruit. Fruit requires a commitment and willingness to grow and change. Sometimes the problems in a church are God’s way of making Christians more Christ like. Followers are not above their master; Jesus was unjustly accused, beaten and killed. Jesus was perfect, and loved Peter even though he denied him 3 times. Sometimes God can use the church with its imperfections to make Christians more Christ like. American Christians need to remember who the buyer is, “You were bought at a price.” 1 Corinthians 6:20 (NIV), and what the cost was, “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13 (NIV)
The foundation, purpose, buyer and cost of the church have not changed in over 2,000 years. America’s culture and attitudes have changed in the last 40 years. Even though America’s culture and attitudes have changed, the church is still as significant to God today as the day it was founded.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Sundays
About six weeks ago I woke up on Sunday morning remembering my childhood. When I was very young, about 40 years ago, Sunday's were different than the other days of the week. There were very few stores, restaurants and gas stations open on Sundays. We went to church and my mom fixed a Sunday dinner or we went to my Grandma's house. The TV was not on during the day on Sunday. Then it all changed. It did not happen all at once, but gradually. First Hy-Vee (grocery store) started being open on Sundays, then gradually more gas stations, restaurants and eventually retail stores were open on Sundays. To begin with the hours were shorter on Sundays, but gradually the hours became more and more extended. Granted many stores and restaurants are not opened as long on Sundays, but they are still open most of the day.
I have a friend who decided along with her husband that they would set aside Sundays to the Lord. They would go to church and church fellowships, but when it came to work, they would not do it on Sundays. My friend started this eight years ago, her husband since has passed away, but she continues to keep Sundays set aside to the Lord.
Since I woke up six weeks ago remembering what Sundays were like when I was a child, I decided to try to make Sundays special and set aside to the Lord. I am a regular attender of church, so the going to church was no different. What I have started doing differently is I cut back on my media on Sundays. I check my phone, but not as often, I don't get on the computer or turn on the TV until Sunday evening. I also try to get all of the laundry, shopping, gas etc.. done on Saturdays. Now on Sundays I go to church, read Christian books, take walks, naps and just enjoy doing nothing.
I am still working on setting aside Sundays, but so far I really like it and I feel it makes my week much better. This world is busy and crazy, by me setting aside Sundays and slowing down, it makes me rested and more able to listen to that small still voice.
Exodus 20:8 "Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy."
I have a friend who decided along with her husband that they would set aside Sundays to the Lord. They would go to church and church fellowships, but when it came to work, they would not do it on Sundays. My friend started this eight years ago, her husband since has passed away, but she continues to keep Sundays set aside to the Lord.
Since I woke up six weeks ago remembering what Sundays were like when I was a child, I decided to try to make Sundays special and set aside to the Lord. I am a regular attender of church, so the going to church was no different. What I have started doing differently is I cut back on my media on Sundays. I check my phone, but not as often, I don't get on the computer or turn on the TV until Sunday evening. I also try to get all of the laundry, shopping, gas etc.. done on Saturdays. Now on Sundays I go to church, read Christian books, take walks, naps and just enjoy doing nothing.
I am still working on setting aside Sundays, but so far I really like it and I feel it makes my week much better. This world is busy and crazy, by me setting aside Sundays and slowing down, it makes me rested and more able to listen to that small still voice.
Exodus 20:8 "Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy."
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Menopause
Menopause, it is often the unspoken span of life that women don't like to talk about and that men run away from screaming. I am starting the joy of menopause and wanted to share some things that I am learning and that I have learned from others. I have had read some articles and books about menopause and in several of them the women thought they were going crazy, now that I am starting to go through it, I can understand that feeling.
I realized that I was starting to go through menopause when our oldest son was getting married. So the first lesson I learned was that menopause shows up when you don't want it to. When I figured out that I was going through menopause I started asking older women how they went through it. I first asked my mom, she basically had no symptoms, so she did not count. Then I found out a lot of my older friends cheated and had hysterectomies and went on hormones, so they did not count either. A lot of older women also had hormones (before it was found out that they cause cancer), so that did not count either.
I found a great Christian book called 'Hot Flashes From Heaven'. I read it quickly and I laughed and I cried through the book. The book begins with the fact that this woman has been to several doctors and can't figure out what is wrong with her, she finally stumbles on to a doctor who says let's see if you are going through menopause and that is what was 'wrong' with her. She has several insights into menopause and helpful hints. It was a good book to get me started going through this stage of my life. The one thing she kept going back to was the fact that even though she often did not feel it, she knew and reminded herself that God truly loved her even as she was going through this phase of her life.
As I have been going through this and have talked to other women about it I realized along with menopause comes a lower tolerance level. Things that used to not bother me, bother me. I don't think it is all bad, but I do have to watch myself when I am put in certain situations. I am less easy going and a little bit more outspoken than I used to be.
With my own personal research (which compiles of me asking my friends and family members) I have found several symptoms of menopause that are lightly touched upon, but really can impact a woman's life. I have a friend who itched. She said her skin felt creepy crawly and just constantly itched. It was not an itching from the outside, it was an itching from the inside (not the dry skin that is talked about in books for menopause). She just had to suffer through it. When I told my doctor (who is a female) that I thought I was starting to go through menopause, she laughed and said enjoy the ride. She said she did not know what was happening to her, all of a sudden she would get dizzy, and she did not realize that it was menopause. I have another friend who told me that when she started going through menopause that she picked up her daughter from school and was going to take her to swimming lessons, half way there she forgot how to get there. She had been driving her daughter to swimming lessons for over 7 years and she said her mind just went blank. She called her husband and said she did not know how to get her daughter to her swimming lessons. No wonder women used to go to mental hospitals when they started going through menopause.
Some of my symptoms are lower tolerance, feeling anxious, dizziness, dry skin,memory loss (all of a sudden my mind goes blank and I can't remember names) and lately hot flashes. One of the first things I did when I figured out that I was going through menopause was I went to my doctor and got a complete physical. I did it more for my sanity than for any real concerns about my health. I have had this body for over 47 years and I knew how it worked and now all of a sudden I don't understand it at all. Some of my symptoms I just have to laugh through, and others I can do practical things to help. I have cut down on my caffeine on days that I work (and drive). Sometimes I will be sitting at a stoplight and it will feel like my car is going backwards when it isn't. Caffeine can increase dizziness and anxiety. Hot flashes are becoming worse for me. I have gotten a few tips that help. My Aunt Judy told me to keep an extra pillow on the floor so when I get a hot flash at night I can switch out the pillows, I have found that it really does help. I also keep a blanket on the floor because sometimes I get cold flashes too, often times after hot flashes. One of my friends told me that she noticed that her hot flashes were worse on the months that she did not have her periods. I thought that was an interesting. Just realizing and knowing that these are symptoms of menopause helps. If I forget someones name, I don't freak out, I just remind myself that this is menopause.
Talking to friends that have been through the other side I have found out that I will not be who I was before menopause, but its OK. I will cry a bit easier, and I have found that even now I laugh a bit easier too. I will not be able to multi-task like I used to. I will still be me, but maybe a bit gentler version of me in the end.
I hope this helps for any of you going through this and for those of you who have gone through it, it may give you a good laugh.
Blessings
I realized that I was starting to go through menopause when our oldest son was getting married. So the first lesson I learned was that menopause shows up when you don't want it to. When I figured out that I was going through menopause I started asking older women how they went through it. I first asked my mom, she basically had no symptoms, so she did not count. Then I found out a lot of my older friends cheated and had hysterectomies and went on hormones, so they did not count either. A lot of older women also had hormones (before it was found out that they cause cancer), so that did not count either.
I found a great Christian book called 'Hot Flashes From Heaven'. I read it quickly and I laughed and I cried through the book. The book begins with the fact that this woman has been to several doctors and can't figure out what is wrong with her, she finally stumbles on to a doctor who says let's see if you are going through menopause and that is what was 'wrong' with her. She has several insights into menopause and helpful hints. It was a good book to get me started going through this stage of my life. The one thing she kept going back to was the fact that even though she often did not feel it, she knew and reminded herself that God truly loved her even as she was going through this phase of her life.
As I have been going through this and have talked to other women about it I realized along with menopause comes a lower tolerance level. Things that used to not bother me, bother me. I don't think it is all bad, but I do have to watch myself when I am put in certain situations. I am less easy going and a little bit more outspoken than I used to be.
With my own personal research (which compiles of me asking my friends and family members) I have found several symptoms of menopause that are lightly touched upon, but really can impact a woman's life. I have a friend who itched. She said her skin felt creepy crawly and just constantly itched. It was not an itching from the outside, it was an itching from the inside (not the dry skin that is talked about in books for menopause). She just had to suffer through it. When I told my doctor (who is a female) that I thought I was starting to go through menopause, she laughed and said enjoy the ride. She said she did not know what was happening to her, all of a sudden she would get dizzy, and she did not realize that it was menopause. I have another friend who told me that when she started going through menopause that she picked up her daughter from school and was going to take her to swimming lessons, half way there she forgot how to get there. She had been driving her daughter to swimming lessons for over 7 years and she said her mind just went blank. She called her husband and said she did not know how to get her daughter to her swimming lessons. No wonder women used to go to mental hospitals when they started going through menopause.
Some of my symptoms are lower tolerance, feeling anxious, dizziness, dry skin,memory loss (all of a sudden my mind goes blank and I can't remember names) and lately hot flashes. One of the first things I did when I figured out that I was going through menopause was I went to my doctor and got a complete physical. I did it more for my sanity than for any real concerns about my health. I have had this body for over 47 years and I knew how it worked and now all of a sudden I don't understand it at all. Some of my symptoms I just have to laugh through, and others I can do practical things to help. I have cut down on my caffeine on days that I work (and drive). Sometimes I will be sitting at a stoplight and it will feel like my car is going backwards when it isn't. Caffeine can increase dizziness and anxiety. Hot flashes are becoming worse for me. I have gotten a few tips that help. My Aunt Judy told me to keep an extra pillow on the floor so when I get a hot flash at night I can switch out the pillows, I have found that it really does help. I also keep a blanket on the floor because sometimes I get cold flashes too, often times after hot flashes. One of my friends told me that she noticed that her hot flashes were worse on the months that she did not have her periods. I thought that was an interesting. Just realizing and knowing that these are symptoms of menopause helps. If I forget someones name, I don't freak out, I just remind myself that this is menopause.
Talking to friends that have been through the other side I have found out that I will not be who I was before menopause, but its OK. I will cry a bit easier, and I have found that even now I laugh a bit easier too. I will not be able to multi-task like I used to. I will still be me, but maybe a bit gentler version of me in the end.
I hope this helps for any of you going through this and for those of you who have gone through it, it may give you a good laugh.
Blessings
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Bullies
Bullies have been around from the beginning of time. There were bullies when I was a kid, when my mom was a child and I am sure my great grandma could name some bullies she knew as a child. As an adult I worked with a bully. Our society has been focusing on bullies and it is now a new politically correct cause.
I do not support bullying in any way, but I do have a problem with the way our society is choosing to handle this problem. Being bullied is the newest victim craze. If some child says something mean to another child they are being bullied. I don't agree with children saying mean things, but it is what kids do, and for that matter it is what adults do too.
I read an email in which suggested that a teacher take a fresh clean white paper, crumple it up, step on it and then straighten it out. After the teacher straightens out the paper he or she should tell the paper 'sorry'. The point being when you say mean things and bully children it does damage that can't be repaired no matter what you do you can not make the paper white, smooth and clean like it was before. It is a good visual for teaching what you say hurts, and can help make a point to a bully, but I don't think it goes far enough.
I think after crumpling the paper lesson; a teacher should take a teflon pan and try to crumple it and throw it on the wall, step on it etc.. The pan won't break or even need to be told 'sorry'. That is how the child who is being bullied should become. If a child is being teased or bullied because they are fat then the parent should talk to the child and be honest. The child can choose to be fat or lose weight, but it does not make them any less or more in God's eyes or their parents eyes. Children need to be taught how to accept themselves the way they are and not worry so much about what others say about them. Having teflon kids will stop bullying a lot sooner than any other politically correct solutions out there.
Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you will be like him yourself. Proverbs 26:4
I do not support bullying in any way, but I do have a problem with the way our society is choosing to handle this problem. Being bullied is the newest victim craze. If some child says something mean to another child they are being bullied. I don't agree with children saying mean things, but it is what kids do, and for that matter it is what adults do too.
I read an email in which suggested that a teacher take a fresh clean white paper, crumple it up, step on it and then straighten it out. After the teacher straightens out the paper he or she should tell the paper 'sorry'. The point being when you say mean things and bully children it does damage that can't be repaired no matter what you do you can not make the paper white, smooth and clean like it was before. It is a good visual for teaching what you say hurts, and can help make a point to a bully, but I don't think it goes far enough.
I think after crumpling the paper lesson; a teacher should take a teflon pan and try to crumple it and throw it on the wall, step on it etc.. The pan won't break or even need to be told 'sorry'. That is how the child who is being bullied should become. If a child is being teased or bullied because they are fat then the parent should talk to the child and be honest. The child can choose to be fat or lose weight, but it does not make them any less or more in God's eyes or their parents eyes. Children need to be taught how to accept themselves the way they are and not worry so much about what others say about them. Having teflon kids will stop bullying a lot sooner than any other politically correct solutions out there.
Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you will be like him yourself. Proverbs 26:4
Thursday, October 13, 2011
When A Golfball is Married to an Egg
My husband and I were in a car accident a few years ago. The insurance company of the man who rear ended us was not being cooperative so we went to see a a lawyer. The lawyer was explaining to us why some people get injured in an accident and others don't. He said you can have the exact accident and have different results; if you were a golfball in the accident you wouldn't get much damage, but if you were an egg you could get really hurt.
In life I tend to be the golfball and my husband the egg. By me saying this I am only talking physically. My husband has much more inner strength than I ever could. As a golfball, I have had to be in the waiting room a lot and also have had to be an advocate for my egg. I have some tips for you if you are a golf ball married to or taking care of an egg.
Psalm 23:1 The Lord is my shepherd.
In life I tend to be the golfball and my husband the egg. By me saying this I am only talking physically. My husband has much more inner strength than I ever could. As a golfball, I have had to be in the waiting room a lot and also have had to be an advocate for my egg. I have some tips for you if you are a golf ball married to or taking care of an egg.
- If your loved one in in the hospital, plan on being their main care giver. Aunt Judy clued me in on this one. The nurses are busy and take care of the basics, but they can not give your loved one the care you can.
- Make friends with the nurses. They will be more likely to give your loved one a bit better care.
- Tell the nurses of any concerns you have. A Dr. tried putting my husband on a medication I was concerned about. I told the nurse of my concern and why. She made sure she told the Dr., and my husband was taken off of the medication.
- Tell everyone who is caring for your egg, your eggs allergies and past history. I have found that the Dr.'s often need to be reminded. My egg has an allergy to a pain medication, he had a big red wristband that said he was allergic to this medication and when the Dr. came to see him before his surgery I mentioned it to the Dr.. The Dr. ended up asking for another prescrip pad because he had to change my husbands pain prescription.
- Keep a list of all of your eggs medications in your billfold. When we were in our car accident I was able to give the EMT's my egg's medications, social security number and his past history. It was very helpful. Aunt Judy suggested I do this too.
Psalm 23:1 The Lord is my shepherd.
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