Strength Training

A friend once emailed me this:

The SIX Times The Devil is Most Likely to Attack:

1. When you are physically tired.
2. Whenever you face a major decision regarding your assignment in life.
3. Whenever you are birthing a child that is destined to become a spiritual leader.
4. When a specific miracle is on its way to you.
5. When you make an effort to launch a new ministry for God.
6. When you are next in line for a promotion from God.

I printed it out and keep it hung up on my bulletin board at home.  I have had to refer myself to it from time to time.  For a Christian to believe in God's blessings and not to believe that the devil will attack them shows a lack of faith and an unreal outlook upon faith.  Planet earth is a spiritual battle ground and the devil would love nothing more than for Christians to not believe in him or his attacks.

The book of Job gives us a kind of behind the scenes look of this battle.  The devil or Satan goes before God and accuses Job.  He is the "accuser of the faith".  Satan does not have free will over a believer, God limits him to serve His purpose.  God allowed Satan to "sift Peter" when Jesus was crucified.  If God would allow Satan to sift Peter why would he not allow Satan to sift believers today?  That is why I keep the "Six Times The Devil is Most Likely to Attack" on my bulletin board.

I read the first few chapters of Job today for my devotions.  I also was reading in the New Testament when 1 Peter 5 opened up.  When this happens I read the text to see if something applies to me, and today it did, it fit perfectly with what I was reading in Job.  1 Peter 5:6-7 "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.  Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."  Numbers 2-6 for Satanic attack all have to do with opportunities, blessings and leadership, all of these can lead to the sin of pride and self reliance.  Sometimes we need a little help in the humility department and that is where God sometimes can use Satan to attack us.  Notice at the end of the verse "that he may lift you up in due time", a blessing is to come.

1Peter 5:8-9 "Be self-controlled and alert.  Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.  Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings."  Satan is always looking for an opportunity to accuse believers.  That is why we should be self-controlled and alert.  Also note that "your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of suffering" this is universal for all Christians.  It is not a rare thing, it is a part of the Christian life.

1Peter 5:10-11 sums up the purpose of this blog "And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.  To him be the power for ever and ever.  Amen."  In order to become strong you have to have resistance.  I will not become stronger if I keep lifting an amount of weight that does not challenge me and give me resistance.  In preparing us for God's service he allows the Devil to attack us, this brings about the humility, understanding of the battle we are in and the strength we need to serve God and accomplish His purpose.  Strength training is not fun, but is necessary for warriors in a battle.  When going through a stength training session it may seem like a long time but God's timing is perfect, "after you have suffered a little while", the blessings will come and you will be equipped and ready for battle where God has placed you.  The bigger the task the more strength training required.  Keep in mind the purpose of the strength training and the blessings that follow, God, "will HIMSELF restore you and make YOU STRONG, FIRM and STEADFAST."  A battle ready warrior ready to serve his or her King. 

So do not be surprised when you are attacked by the devil and remember when you are going through strength training to stand firm, be self-controlled, alert and rely on God's grace to get you through.  His promises are true; He promises trials, suffering, strength and blessings.

Military Mom

I feel like an alcoholic or drug addict and I must confess this truth and quit denying it; I am the mother of a son who is in the military.  I am proud of my son and the military is a good fit for him.  He recently married a lovely young woman whose father was career military.  When he was stationed in England I was not happy until he returned to American soil.  The four months he was deployed in Afghanistan I was on pins and needles, only after he returned home did I realize how stressed I was about it.

Before he enlisted into the military he looked for what he wanted to do, he tried working in a warehouse, tried to get on police departments, but none of it was a good fit for him.  I think he really wanted to join the military before he tried all of those jobs, but he knew I really did not want him to join the military.  When he did sign up, I whinced.  I knew it was God's will, but I did not like it.  Since then I have prayed a lot, and I have argued with God (guess who won), and I have let him go.  I want him to do God's will, but I often go back in prayer and ask God if he is sure this is His will for my son.  

I looked up posts from other Moms who have children in the military.  Many of them have the same struggles.  I found encouragement, comfort and pride in my son's chosen career.  When he enlisted into the military I was drafted.  Now that I have confessed that I am a military mom I do feel better and can move forward.  When my son is deployed he will have my prayers for him and his wife.  Not only will he have my support and prayers, but he will have the prayers and support of family, friends and church. 

While I was looking up posts from moms in the military I discovered that Psalm 91 is a great prayer for our troops.  Please pray for our troops, in this crazy mixed up world they are put in harms way, they choose to serve our country.  Prayer does make a difference. 

We are Family

Our youngest son got married a month ago.  It was a wonderful wedding.  He has married a lovely young woman who loves Jesus as much as our son does. 

We all went to Alamorgodo New Mexico for what I thought was too short of a time.  We arrived on Thursday and met up with our soon to be married son and our oldest son and his wife.  There was no awkward silence, there were hugs, excitement and planning.  We met our sons bride for the first time on Thursday and saw immediately why he was marrying her. 

It was a wonderful weekend where we got to connect with family members we haven't seen in a long time and got to meet the newest members of our family.  The wedding was beautiful.  It went off pretty much so without a hitch (a ring was late for arrivial). 

The reception was a highlight for me.  I got to see our son wildly in love with his bride, I think they danced every dance.  Our oldest son and his wife were a joy to watch as they danced and were just enjoying each other and life.  The brides family welcomed us with open arms and we welcomed them with joy.  My sister in law and nephews and niece were there too.  It was great to dance with my nephew!  We all connected and celebrated the union of two people and two families, what a wonderful gift and blessing from God!

On the drive back home from the wedding I kept thinking of the song "We are family".  We are family, not a perfect family, but one that loves and supports each other and with great joy our family expanded on August 4th! 

Proverbs 24:3-4 "By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowlege its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures."

Dad

Father's Day is tomorrow and in celebration of this holiday to honor out father's I am going to honor my earthly father for Father's Day.

This is not an easy blog to write, and it is not because I had a terrible Dad, it is because my Dad died before I had very many memories of him.  My Dad died in 1970 at the age of 32, and I was six years old.  The few memories I do have of him are good.

My Dad was an Iowa Highway Patrolman, so he worked funny shifts and his days off varied each week.  One day my Dad watched me while my mom was at work.  We lived in a small town in Iowa and we walked to the Sinclair gas station.  It was a nice day.  My Dad stopped in at the gas station to visit one of his buddies.  He shot the breeze with him and I just hung out with my Dad.  After he visited his friend at the gas station we went accross the street to the small Cafe' and had lunch.  I remember french fries, but not much else.  It was a good day, I just hung out with my Dad.

Another time I went to a small grocery store with my Dad.  I was trying to help him and got a bottle of ketchup for him.  As I was walking to give it to him it fell out of my hands and broke.  Back then ketchup came in glass bottles and it made a loud sound and was a large mess.  I started crying, my Dad calmed me down and told me it was ok.  The grocer promptly cleaned up the mess and all was well.

I am the youngest of three.  I have two older brothers.  When I was five I was playing outside in the spring.  It was still cold, but most of the snow had melted.  My brothers were playing outside also.  I did something to try to get them to chase me.  I started running away from them and I slipped and fell on some ice.  I screamed and was crying uncontrollably.  My Dad was in the shower at the time, but almost immediately he was at the back door with a towel wrapped around his waist wanting to know what happened.  I tried to explain through the tears, but my Dad was sure my brothers had done something to me.  Eventually the truth came out and my brothers were exonerated.  My Dad was smart enough to notice that my arm had been broken from the fall and he took me to the hospital.

I ended up having to spend the night in the hospital when my arm broke.  They had to ice my arm and put me under to set it properly.  I had broken both bones.  I remember waking up from the surgery and my Dad carried me out of the recovery room back to my hospital bed.

My Dad would often take his 'breaks' when he had his swing shift so that he could stop by the house and see us all before we went to bed.  He would always get a quick glass of iced tea (Nestea instant).  He did not stay long, but it was always nice to see him

He loved my mom very much and she loved him too.  My mom is in her 70's now and she is concerned about dying; not because she is afraid to die, she is concerned she is going to get to heaven as an old lady and she will see my Dad all young and handsome.  It is almost like she is nervous about a date with someone she loves and she wants to look her best to see him.

It does stink that I lost my Dad at such a young age.  I will never know why he died so young, I guess  sometimes life just does not make sense. When I was 32 years old I cried uncontrolably on Father's Day. I could not figure out what was wrong with me. My husband told me I should go see my mom, maybe she could help me. I did not go see my mom or my Aunt Judy, I ended up at my Grandma's house. When I walked in her door I just cried, I did not tell her why I was crying, I just sat down and cried. She looked at me and said "Cindy, your Dad would have never left you if he had any choice." It was what I needed to hear.  I am so very thankful for the few memories I do have of him.  He was a good man who loved me and my family.  He took time to hang out with me and take me out to lunch, he made me feel better when I broke ketchup bottles,  he tried to protect me from my brothers, he made sure that I was safe after surgery and he made it a priority to see his family every day, even when he worked an odd shift.  My Dad left me at a young age, not of his own choice, but of his own choice he lived his life intentionally and left me with memories of a loving father.  Thanks Dad!  I will see you again (hopefully not too soon)!  Love you!

Lose One Gain Seven

I am blessed this year with being the director of VBS (Vacation Bible School).  As I was looking over the list of volunteers for VBS I was reminded of God's greater provision. 

A few years ago L. was a Sunday school teacher in the room I was responsible for.  She was a great teacher who was responsible, on time, prepared and always happy.  We had a once every three month rotation and I was either helping or teaching the other two months.  Because of L.'s consistency I was able to get a break one month out of three.  I would get opportunities to talk to L. and she told me that she did not feel comfortable teaching the age group she was teaching.  She felt more comfortable working with the teens. Her and her husband are high school teachers.  At the time our church did not have much of a youth group.  Our church is rebuilding and there was not much of a need for a youth group or youth leader.  When L. would talk about working with the teens her eyes would light up and she would get so excited.  The thought of a youth group looked like a far away dream for her.

Then one Sunday (the Sunday before she was supposed to teach in my class) L. came to my Sunday school classroom all excited.  Her husband had decided that they should lead the youth group.  They were going to start the next Sunday.  She could not do her month.  I was very excited for her, but I knew that her leaving meant I would not get a break from teaching for a while. 

The youth group took off like a wildfire.  L. and her husband have seen God's hand of blessing upon their ministry.  From their blessing I have been very blessed and so has our children's ministry.  By L. moving from my Sunday school class to the youth group our children's ministry has acquired 3 helpers for Sunday school and seven volunteers for VBS.

I had no power to hold L. back from leaving my Sunday school room.  By her leaving I ended up working in the Sunday school room for about a year without a break.  I knew the extra work was temporary but I never would have guessed at the blessings that would come from L. leaving.

Sometimes God wants us to give up or lose one, but that one leaving can turn into more than you ever imagined.

Ecclesiastes 11:1  Cast your bread upon the waters, for after many days you will find it again.

Mother's Day

Today the kindergarten class got to make Mother's Day cards.  As I was watching them work hard on coloring the cards and writing the words they wanted to say to their mom it just reminded me of how important mom's are at any age. 

One little boy who we very seldom can get to write anything, asked me to write something on his card for his mom.  I told him I would write it in pencil and then he could trace it in marker.  I asked what he wanted me to write, it was simple but says it all "I love you Mommy."  I happily wrote it for him and he carefully traced the letters to make his card complete.

I was also privelged to have some of the cards read to me, slowly and phonetically one little boy wrote "Mom yuo are the bst mom evr I love yuo vere much."  He wrote that and some very similiar thoughts on all 4 pages of the card.

One little boy asked for a book that the teacher had read about Mother's Day.  He wanted it so he could copy the poem for his mom.  He sat for twenty minutes copying the poem and writing very neatly.  After he copied the poem he drew some nice pictures on his card.

A little girl painstakingly went through all of the stickers available for the cards to find a bunny sticker.  She could not find the bunny sticker she wanted so she walked around the class and found a little boy who had gotten the bunny sticker, she did a major trade in order to get her bunny sticker for her card.  Her mommy likes bunnies.

I usually don't disagree with the teacher, but today I had to disagree with her.  She wrote on the board "You are the best Mom ever."  I told her that the kids mom's could not be the best Mom ever, because my Mom is the best Mom ever.  She laughed and said that could not be true because her mom is the best mom ever.

If you have to send a card that has the words you want to say, find that special sticker (present) or do something that you really don't like to do to show your mom that you love her and that she is the best mom ever, your mom will love it just as much as she did when you were in kindergarten.  As you do that just remember that my Mom IS the bestest Mom ever!!!

Proverbs 31:31 Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Vengence is Mine

It happens to everyone sometime in their life, they are wronged personally.  It is not easy and friends and family members often come your rescue and give you ideas of how to get back at the person or persons who hurt you.  It is nice of them to support you, but often their advice is vengeful and unethical. 

As I have gotten older I have somewhat grown from taking vengence, or trying to take care of it myself, to giving them enough rope to hang themselves.  I thought that was a Biblical point of view; a man reaps what he sows.  When I have taken that point of view I have seen people reap what they sow. 

As I walk with the Lord he gives me new insight and makes me grow a bit more.  I was hurt by some brothers and sisters in Christ, and I thought that I would sit back and watch them reap what they sow, because I felt what they had done was wrong and it was hurtful to me.  God did not let me get away with watching them reap what they sowed, instead He made me go help them to succeed.  He arranged my circumstances and made me go and help the people who broke my heart.  I will be honest I did not enjoy it to begin with, and I thought God was going to let me see them reap what they sowed, but He didn't.  Instead God changed me and taught me some things.  A follower is not greater than his master, Jesus was hurt and betrayed by his friends.  Jesus came back for Peter, died for Judas as well as me, a follower is no greater than his Master.   Reconcilliation is very important to God, and if I have a brother or sister who has offended me then I need to go to them.  I need to pray for those who have hurt me, and the prayer should not be God get them (even though it is tempting), but it should be a prayer that brings glory to God and furthers his kingdom.  It is much easier to love those who love us, but true love is often seen when I love others who are not treating me justly.

I am somewhat on the otherside of the hurts, they happened a few years ago.  As I was talking to a friend she was telling me how some people were not treating her well and so she decided to take a course that would somewhat undermine the people who had hurt her.  It was not an unethical course, but it was not a productive course.  Her course is ending up making her look bad and justifying the actions of the people she is trying to undermine.  As I listened to her I realized that God says "vengence is mine" for a reason.  God knows the hearts and circumstances of all of the people involved and when I try to take action on my part it makes me look bad, but if I leave vengence to God and love those who treated me unjustly I bring glory to God.

Psalm 37:18  The days of the blameless are know to the LORD, and their inheritance will endure forever.

Toad Lover

I was talking to my Aunt Judy on the phone today.  Some how the conversation turned to how her husband turned her words that were meant to have a little sting around to a positive.  She said if she called him a toad, he would say "so you are a toad lover".  It really made her think and it turned what might have been a negative to a positive.  My Uncle George has some wisdom too.

The words you say to your spouse reflect upon you.  Are you a toad lover or a prince lover?

Proverbs 25:11  A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.

Finishing the Race

My brother-in-law passed away about a month ago.  He died suddenly and unexpectedly.  My husband and I flew back to Chicago for the funeral and to hopefully bring a little comfort for my sister-in-law, niece and nephews.  All during the many activities that go along with death and laying someone to rest one thought kept going through my mind.  They finished the race.  They finished their marriage and completed their vows.

As I observed my sister-in-law I realized that she was not only faithful in his life, she was also faithful in his death. I watched as she stood for 6 hours at the wake, getting hugs from people she knew and loved and those she did not know, but who knew her husband.  She was a gracious hostess, sharing stories of her husband and introducing strangers to their 3 children.  She was exhausted at the end of the wake, both physically and emotionally.  She carried out her husbands wishes concerning his funeral and the way he wanted to be buried, even though her mother-in-law did not understand. 

Just like life, marriages eventually end.  Some end in divorce and others end in death.  Eventually they all end.  My brother-in-laws death is not a celebration, but I think the fact that he and my sister-in-law kept their vows and completed the marriage is a heritage their 3 children will treasure in years to come.  They finished the race, they kept their vows.

2 Timothy 4:7  "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."

Why Bother?

Why Bother?

            It happens every Sunday.  I prepare a Sunday school lesson for the preschoolers at my church, I plan for ten, but I may only get two.  From Sunday to Sunday the numbers are never the same.  My church is not alone, it is a national phenomena.  23 million self proclaimed Christians in America do not have any church affiliation, and of those who do attend church 40-50 percent do so with a loose commitment.  (Stafford 2005)  Even though there is a lack of commitment to the church in America; the church is still as significant to God today as it was when it was founded.

            What was the church founded on?  Matthew 16:16 states Peter’s confession “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God”, (NIV) and that confession is the foundation on which the church is built on.  Jesus said in Matthew 16:17-18 “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by man, but by my Father in heaven.  And on this rock, I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it.”  The church is the people who believe Peter’s confession.  To God, that has not changed.

            The purpose of the church is to “spur one another on toward love and good deeds.”  And “encourage one another---and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Hebrews 10:24-25. The purpose of the church is still the same. If the foundation of the church and the purpose of the church have not changed, why do Christians lack a commitment to the church today?

            Generation Yer’s (millennials) are “the first generation raised without God.”  (Hill 2011) This generation and the generations to follow have been raised to believe in evolution, and to question God’s existence or relevance.  They also have been brought up in a multicultural society, so whatever you want to do or believe is ok, and your belief is no more important than anyone else’s.  It is easy to see that the current generation is not going to have many foundational reasons to be committed to the church.

            The church is full of sinners, who have hurt others in the church.  I have a few friends who have been hurt by the church, and they are not alone.  The pain and offense are real. When a person has been hurt by the ones who are supposed to encourage them, the hurt is not easily healed, and the results are a lack of trust and commitment to the church.

             American Christians have been brought up to be consumers.  They no longer see church as a place to serve, but a place to be served.  They shop around for the best church to fit their wants and needs;  searching for something that makes them feel good, and costs little for them personally.  If the church begins to have any problems, disagreements or costs them more personally, they leave and shop for another church, or quit going to church altogether. (Stafford 2005)  

              People who go to church statistically “feel a real and personal connection with God”, 68%-78%, depending on the size of the church. (www.barna.org) As a Christian, “You are called to belong, not just believe.” (Warren 2002)  Belonging to a group of believers who “spur one another on toward love and good deeds…and encourage one another” Hebrews 10:24-25 brings forth fruit.  Fruit requires a commitment and willingness to grow and change.  Sometimes the problems in a church are God’s way of making Christians more Christ like.  Followers are not above their master; Jesus was unjustly accused, beaten and killed.  Jesus was perfect, and loved Peter even though he denied him 3 times. Sometimes God can use the church with its imperfections to make Christians more Christ like. American Christians need to remember who the buyer is, “You were bought at a price.” 1 Corinthians 6:20 (NIV), and what the cost was, “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.”  John 15:13 (NIV)  

            The foundation, purpose, buyer and cost of the church have not changed in over 2,000 years.  America’s culture and attitudes have changed in the last 40 years.  Even though America’s culture and attitudes have changed, the church is still as significant to God today as the day it was founded.

Sundays

About six weeks ago I woke up on Sunday morning remembering my childhood.  When I was very young, about 40 years ago, Sunday's were different than the other days of the week.  There were very few stores, restaurants and gas stations open on Sundays.  We went to church and my mom fixed a Sunday dinner or we went to my Grandma's house.  The TV was not on during the day on Sunday.  Then it all changed.  It did not happen all at once, but gradually. First Hy-Vee (grocery store) started being open on Sundays, then gradually more gas stations, restaurants and eventually retail stores were open on Sundays.  To begin with the hours were shorter on Sundays, but gradually the hours became more and more extended.  Granted many stores and restaurants are not opened as long on Sundays, but they are still open most of the day.

I have a friend who decided along with her husband that they would set aside Sundays to the Lord.  They would go to church and church fellowships, but when it came to work, they would not do it on Sundays.  My friend started this eight years ago, her husband since has passed away, but she continues to keep Sundays set aside to the Lord.

Since I woke up six weeks ago remembering what Sundays were like when I was a child, I decided to try to make Sundays special and set aside to the Lord.  I am a regular attender of church, so the going to church was no different.  What I have started doing differently is I cut back on my media on Sundays.  I check my phone, but not as often, I don't get on the computer or turn on the TV until Sunday evening.  I also try to get all of the laundry, shopping, gas etc.. done on Saturdays.  Now on Sundays I go to church, read Christian books, take walks, naps and just enjoy doing nothing.

I am still working on setting aside Sundays, but so far I really like it and I feel it makes my week much better.  This world is busy and crazy, by me setting aside Sundays and slowing down, it makes me rested and more able to listen to that small still voice.

Exodus 20:8  "Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy."

Menopause

Menopause, it is often the unspoken span of life that women don't like to talk about and that men run away from screaming.  I am starting the joy of menopause and wanted to share some things that I am learning and that I have learned from others.  I have had read some articles and books about menopause and in several of them the women thought they were going crazy, now that I am starting to go through it, I can understand that feeling.

I realized that I was starting to go through menopause when our oldest son was getting married.  So the first lesson I learned was that menopause shows up when you don't want it to.  When I figured out that I was going through menopause I started asking older women how they went through it.  I first asked my mom, she basically had no symptoms, so she did not count.  Then I found out a lot of my older friends cheated and had hysterectomies and went on hormones, so they did not count either.  A lot of older women also had hormones (before it was found out that they cause cancer), so that did not count either.

I found a great Christian book called 'Hot Flashes From Heaven'.  I read it quickly and I laughed and I cried through the book.  The book begins with the fact that this woman has been to several doctors and can't figure out what is wrong with her, she finally stumbles on to a doctor who says let's see if you are going through menopause and that is what was 'wrong' with her.  She has several insights into menopause and helpful hints.  It was a good book to get me started going through this stage of my life.  The one thing she kept going back to was the fact that even though she often did not feel it, she knew and reminded herself that God truly loved her even as she was going through this phase of her life.

As I have been going through this and have talked to other women about it I realized along with menopause comes a lower tolerance level.  Things that used to not bother me, bother me.  I don't think it is all bad, but I do have to watch myself when I am put in certain situations.  I am less easy going and a little bit more outspoken than I used to be.

With my own personal research (which compiles of me asking my friends and family members) I have found several symptoms of menopause that are lightly touched upon, but really can impact a woman's life.  I have a friend who itched.  She said her skin felt creepy crawly and just constantly itched.  It was not an itching from the outside, it was an itching from the inside (not the dry skin that is talked about in books for menopause).  She just had to suffer through it.  When I told my doctor (who is a female) that I thought I was starting to go through menopause, she laughed and said enjoy the ride.  She said she did not know what was happening to her, all of a sudden she would get dizzy, and she did not realize that it was menopause.  I have another friend who told me that when she started going through menopause that she picked up her daughter from school and was going to take her to swimming lessons, half way there she forgot how to get there.  She had been driving her daughter to swimming lessons for over 7 years and she said her mind just went blank.  She called her husband and said she did not know how to get her daughter to her swimming lessons.  No wonder women used to go to mental hospitals when they started going through menopause.

Some of my symptoms are lower tolerance, feeling anxious, dizziness, dry skin,memory loss (all of a sudden my mind goes blank and I can't remember names) and lately hot flashes.  One of the first things I did when I figured out that I was going through menopause was I went to my doctor and got a complete physical.  I did it more for my sanity than for any real concerns about my health.  I have had this body for over 47 years and I knew how it worked and now all of a sudden I don't understand it at all.  Some of my symptoms I just have to laugh through, and others I can do practical things to help.  I have cut down on my caffeine on days that I work (and drive).  Sometimes I will be sitting at a stoplight and it will feel like my car is going backwards when it isn't.  Caffeine can increase dizziness and anxiety. Hot flashes are becoming worse for me.  I have gotten a few tips that help.  My Aunt Judy told me to keep an extra pillow on the floor so when I get a hot flash at night I can switch out the pillows, I have found that it really does help.  I also keep a blanket on the floor because sometimes I get cold flashes too, often times after hot flashes.  One of my friends told me that she noticed that her hot flashes were worse on the months that she did not have her periods.  I thought that was an interesting.  Just realizing and knowing that these are symptoms of menopause helps.  If I forget someones name, I don't freak out, I just remind myself that this is menopause. 



Talking to friends that have been through the other side I have found out that I will not be who I was before menopause, but its OK.  I will cry a bit easier, and I have found that even now I laugh a bit easier too.  I will not be able to multi-task like I used to.  I will still be me, but maybe a bit gentler version of me in the end.

I hope this helps for any of you going through this and for those of you who have gone through it, it may give you a good laugh.

Blessings

Bullies

Bullies have been around from the beginning of time.  There were bullies when I was a kid, when my mom was a child and I am sure my great grandma could name some bullies she knew as a child.  As an adult I worked with a bully.  Our society has been focusing on bullies and it is now a new politically correct cause.

I do not support bullying in any way, but I do have a problem with the way our society is choosing to handle this problem.  Being bullied is the newest victim craze.  If some child says something mean to another child they are being bullied.  I don't agree with children saying mean things, but it is what kids do, and for that matter it is what adults do too.

I read an email in which suggested that a teacher take a fresh clean white paper, crumple it up, step on it and then straighten it out.  After the teacher straightens out the paper he or she should tell the paper 'sorry'.  The point being when you say mean things and bully children it does damage that can't be repaired no matter what you do you can not make the paper white, smooth and clean like it was before.  It is a good visual for teaching what you say hurts, and can help make a point to a bully, but I don't think it goes far enough. 

I think after crumpling the paper lesson; a teacher should take a teflon pan and try to crumple it and throw it on the wall, step on it etc..  The pan won't break or even need to be told 'sorry'.  That is how the child who is being bullied should become.  If a child is being teased or bullied because they are fat then the parent should talk to the child and be honest.  The child can choose to be fat or lose weight, but it does not make them any less or more in God's eyes or their parents eyes.  Children need to be taught how to accept themselves the way they are and not worry so much about what others say about them.  Having  teflon kids will stop bullying a lot sooner than any other politically correct solutions out there.

Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you will be like him yourself.  Proverbs 26:4

When A Golfball is Married to an Egg

My husband and I were in a car accident a few years ago.  The insurance company of the man who rear ended us was not being cooperative so we went to see a a lawyer.  The lawyer was explaining to us why some people get injured in an accident and others don't.  He said you can have the exact accident and have different results; if you were a golfball in the accident you wouldn't get much damage, but if you were an egg you could get really hurt.

In life I tend to be the golfball and my husband the egg.  By me saying this I am only talking physically.  My husband has much more inner strength than I ever could.  As a golfball, I have had to be in the waiting room a lot and also have had to be an advocate for my egg.  I have some tips for you if you are a golf ball married to or taking care of an egg.

• If your loved one in in the hospital, plan on being their main care giver.  Aunt Judy clued me in on this one.  The nurses are busy and take care of the basics, but they can not give your loved one the care you can.
• Make friends with the nurses.  They will be more likely to give your loved one a bit better care.
• Tell the nurses of any concerns you have.  A Dr. tried putting my husband on a medication I was concerned about.  I told the nurse of my concern and why.  She made sure she told the Dr., and my husband was taken off of the medication.
• Tell everyone who is caring for your egg, your eggs allergies and past history.  I have found that the Dr.'s often need to be reminded.  My egg has an allergy to a pain medication, he had a big red wristband that said he was allergic to this medication and when the Dr. came to see him before his surgery I mentioned it to the Dr..  The Dr. ended up asking for another prescrip pad because he had to change my husbands pain prescription. 
• Keep a list of all of your eggs medications in your billfold.  When we were in our car accident I was able to give the EMT's my egg's medications, social security number and his past history.  It was very helpful.  Aunt Judy suggested I do this too.

These are just a few helpful hints if your egg is ever in need of medical care.  Of course the most important is prayer for your egg.  I think my egg is still here because of the prayers and love of many, and the love and care of One.

Psalm 23:1 The Lord is my shepherd.

Where should we park?

My husband had shoulder surgery today.  He has been in pain since the first of the year and finally had to give in and get surgery.  The Dr. found out that he had a small tear in his bicep, and that is probably what was causing all of the pain. 

My husband has had many surgeries and many health issues.  Every surgery he has always causes me and I am sure him anxiety.  Even 'minor' outpatient surgery causes me anxiety.  When they ask questions about his health I am reminded again of all of his health issues.

Today when I went back to see him before his surgery, the nurse mentioned some concerns about his health before his surgery.  They took some extra blood for some blood tests and gave him an ekg.  Everything turned out fine, but it added a bit more to my anxiety. 

My thoughts were about my husband and his surgery, but I noticed that there was quite a bit of talking from the nurses and other patients about an accident that happened in the parking lot.  A 71 year old woman had lost control of her car.  She ended up totaling 2 cars, damaging a pick up truck and taking out 2 transformers.  Fortunately no one was injured, except for the woman driving and it was non life threatening.  I did not think much about it at first, but then I started to put some things together about our morning.

I drove my husband to his surgery.  I decided to talk a bit of a longer route because I don't like turning left without a stop light on our busy street.  Once we got close to the surgical place we discussed where I should park.  I thought I would park in the parking garage because that is where my husband usually parks.  My husband insisted that I not park in the parking garage and he wanted me to park in the hospital parking lot.  I thought it was different for him, but I parked where he said to park.  We got a great spot, close to the surgical place.  A little thank you to God for that.

The 71 year old woman who had the big accident, had it in the parking lot and garage that I was planning on going to.  If I would have taken a shorter route and went to that parking garage we would have been in the middle of that mess.

Here my anxiety was over my husbands surgery and God graciously protected us from a big accident.  I am no theologian, but it did remind me of God's sovereignty, love and protection.  He does take care of every little detail, even where we should park.

Psalm 16:5 Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. 

Being Still

In the past months I have really felt like God has told me to be still.  I must admit that it was not something I wanted to hear, and it is not easy to comply with.  When I first felt God telling me to be still I thought it would only be for a few days.  I was wrong.  God's timing is never the same as mine.  Then I started testing the boundaries and again the answer was still the same, be still.

Let me clarify, being still does not mean that I sit at home and do nothing, it means that I need to cease working and fretting about a certain circumstance in my life.  God wants me to be still about it. 

Here are some things I have learned about being still:

• It is not easy.
• It is all about faith.
• In Exodus God told Moses to be still right before He parted the Red Sea.
• Being still also means having to face myself and coming to repentance.
• Being still is a spiritual battle.  Satan loves to make you start wandering off the path God has clearly set forth for you.
• It is acceptance of my circumstances and actually strengthening of my faith.
• Once I have come to terms with being still it is actually peaceful.

There is a difference between waiting and being still.  Either one is not fun or easy, but both I am sure are worth the wait..

"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still."  Exodus 14:14

Lesson Learned From Three Good Friends

I have had the privelge of teaching school agers this week.  To be honest it is not my favorite place to teach, but today was a good day.  Prayer helps a lot and God does answer prayers.  I specifically prayed today for a good, fun day with my friends and I asked for His extreme wisdom.  God answered that prayer today.

The school agers love to play foos ball.  They usually play well on their own. I have the rule that they can play it as long as they don't fight.  They usually argue a bit here and there, which is normal, but they should not get me involved.  I learned with our two children that I do NOT want to be a referee nor should I be put in that position.

Today I was approached by 3 boys and asked to resolve a dispute they had over a foos ball game.  These three boys have been friends for years.  Two of them grew up in the center I work in; starting in the two year old room and they are now in the second grade.  The other boy became part of their friendship over 3 years ago.  They are well behaved boys, but they are boys and they are competitive. 

When they came up to me and wanted me to resolve their dispute, my first thoughts were 'I really don't want to hear this'.  As they were passionately setting forth their case I finally stopped them.  I was about to remind them of my rule, but then a wise thought came to my mind (obviously not from me).  I looked at the three of them and I said "Which is more important, the foos ball game or your friendship?"  They looked at me and then at each other and they all three said their friendship and walked away.  They went off and played with legos.  They were happy, and there was no question in their minds about what was more important.

As an adult sometimes I need to be reminded of this too.  Sometimes I get too concerned about being right, or doing something the right way and miss the big picture of what truly is important.

Proverbs 17:14  Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.

Sex Before Marriage??

I was listening to Chuck Swindoll today.  He was talking about sex and what a gift it is in marriage.  Sex is designed by God and to be enjoyed by married people.  It goes beyond just the physical and practical it goes to the emotional and spiritual. 

Today's society says that sex is just the physical and is a natural need.  You deserve to have sex and if you are not married, but are committed then it is fine.  You can try each other out and see if you are compatable.  If you use a condom you will be safe from diseases, unwanted pregnancy and if it doesn't work out you will be fine.  Not true!!

Today's Christian society is not much different. Many Christians say 'God loves us and we accepted Christ so we are forgiven' or 'God knows I have this need and I am sure he understands'.  There is the 'we are going to get married anyway, so why wait?' reasoning that often comes in after a young couple has been dating for a long time and they may even be engaged.

The truth is premaritial sex is not God's design and there is a reason for it.  Some of the consequences of premaritial sex are: sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancy and relationship troubles.

Sexually transmitted diseases are just plain nasty.  Some of them never go away.  If you get an std from one person and then break up with him or her and marry someone else, the person you marry is going to have to deal with that disease also.  Some of them can cause problems with pregnancies or can even make you infertile. 

If you get pregnant before you are married it affects your marriage.  Women often wonder if their husband really loves them or if they married them because they got pregnant.  It is a thought that never goes away.  The husband will often feel guilty about the pregnancy or feel betrayed and deceived. 

Chuck Swindoll said one thing he noticed about marriages where there was premaritial sex is that the husband always becomes passive.  He said he has yet to see a marriage where this does not happen when there is premaritial sex.

His comments made me think about the butterfly.  When a butterfly is coming out of its cocoon it has to struggle to get out.  It is a long hard process.  It is hard, but it has a purpose.  The struggle that the butterfly has in the cocoon has more of a purpose than just getting the butterfly out.  While the butterfly is struggling it is actually pushing fluid to its wings so that they will be strong.  If the butterfly does not have that struggle it will not get the fluid to its wings properly and it will be weak and possibly die.

Consider the dating and engagement period a time of necessary struggle against some of those temptations.  If you wait and do it God's way the fluid will go to your wings and it is a good strong start to your marriage.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.

Biggest Fan

Who is one of your biggest fans???  You don't have to be famous to answer this question.  Your biggest fan is that person or people in your life who always think the best of you and are always cheering you on when life gets tough. 

My Mom is one of my biggest fans.  She always thinks the best of me and wants things to go my way.  When I am sick she sympathizes with me.  When something exciting or good happens to me she is just as excited for me as I am.  When I have been dealt a bum hand or been treated unjustly she is upset and tells me that she is still behind me, and she is upset with the person or people who have disappointed me.

My husband is a 'fan'.  He wants whats best for me.  He takes me to urgent care on a Saturday and waits patiently for me (3 hours later).  He prays for me.  He has the same interests for me as I do.

I have some friends who are wonderful 'fans' too.  They cheer for me when things get tough, laugh when I laugh and give me a shoulder to cry on when things are not going my way.  I can be real with these friends because I know they are in my corner and want whats best for me.

My kids are grown; both now and when they were younger they are some of my 'fans'.  When they were younger they showed it by always needing my attention.  'Look Mom' was a constant when they were younger.  If I was upset they would show their concern with a hug and a reassuring word.  Now that they are grown they pray for me and their Dad as we do for them. 

I have a friend who is a preschool teacher for 2 year olds.  One of her 'students' did not take his nap.  The teacher was hurt by what someone said to her and she cried.  The student went over to her and gave her a hug and said in his 2 year old voice "it's ok".  As a teacher your students are also one of your biggest 'fans' too.

I also am other peoples 'fan'.  I am a fan of my husband, Mom, friends, kids, co-workers and church friends.

There are some rules for being a 'fan'.  One of the rules is to communicate with the people whom you are 'fans'.  You need to spend time with them, pray for them and follow up on how they are doing.  Their concerns (not all of them) should be your concerns.

Life is a journey and not always easy.  I hope your life is filled with 'fans' and I hope you are 'fans' of many people.

Proveerbs 17:17  A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Henry

The first time I saw Henry was when I was walking my dog in our mobile home park.  Henry was talking to someone who was leaving and I heard him smile and say "every day is a wonderful day as long as Jesus is in your life."  I was hoping that I would get to meet him some day.  He just seemed to shine and I thought there must be a good story behind his 'shine'.

I eventually got to meet Henry.  Through a series of different conversations I found out some of the story.  Henry is about 5'7", thin build, white hair and beautiful light blue eyes that just shine.  When you watch Henry you can tell he walks with a little limp and the left side of his mouth is down turned, he looks like someone who has had a stroke, but has recovered very well.  Henry has had more than 1 stroke, he has had 11 strokes. 

The first stroke Henry had he was around 50 years old.  It was so massive that the Dr.'s said if he survived he would be a vegetable.  Henry had a good job, lovely wife of over 30 years and had built his own house before his first stroke.  He was estranged from his mother when he was younger and never really had a good relationship with her, before his first stroke.

After his first stroke he ended up being in the hospital for over 100 days.  His wife divorced him, but his mother took care of him.  Henry has told me more than once that he never thanked Jesus when he had built his house with his own hands; but after his stroke he was sitting at a table trying to eat, and he saw a 30 year old man who could not even lift his head off his pillow.  From that point on Henry started thanking Jesus for everything.  He says he was full of pride before his stroke, but now he is thankful for everything.

Henry also shared with me that he had suffered from 'grandma seizures' after his stroke.  He explained a 'grandma seizure' affects the whole body and it only stops after you pass out from the pain.  He said he had 2-3 seizures a week.  One night he just felt different.  He did not have a seizure for over 6 months.  He decided to go off his medications (19 pills a day), and his Dr. quit treating him because he went off his meds.

He said he would go through it all again because Jesus means so much to him now.  He said his wife left him, his friends left him, only his mother and Jesus stayed by his side.  He gives all of the glory to Jesus.

Now Henry takes care of his mom.  He feels like it is the right thing to do.  He goes to the gym 3 times a week, works on his truck and drives to a house he has in Arkansas for the summer.  He keeps busy, but he is never too busy to give thanks and glory to Jesus.

Job 23:10 "But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold."